Saturday, 25 April 2009

Starting to Feel Better

hiaa everyonee :)
im starting to feel ex is slowly fading away from my thoughts and im beginning to think that he's not so important.
if he wants to leave me over something so petty as exams, hes not worth my time.
yes i still love him, yes i wouldnt say no if he asked me back but there's only so long im going to feel like this.
ive even been asked out on a date by a guy, but i dont feel that way for him...but i might go one day...just to piss my ex off an prove that other people find me attractive...unlike him!

anyway, i havent done so well today, my mother made me stay in and i havent eaten a proper meal for nearly two weeks. so i havent checked my weight...but i was 105 when i last checked.

my mother is getting really trying to asure her that im fine but shes not believing any of it. lucky for me she just thinks its because the break up and not anything eating disorder.

i know i said something about a challenge thing but ive really been either too stressed/busy to organise anything like this so i apoligise. i will when i get the chance :)

i feel all bloated now and disgusting. food sure is the worst thing ever. it makes me feel soo friggin ill!

hope everyones good :)


Monday, 20 April 2009

Down Again

hey people
had loads of support from you guys on my last post...thanks very much appreciated :)

id like to say that my mood has improved but id be lying lol
im still deeply upset, worried about my lack of revision and to add to these worries...i got my mother being all unreasonable because i fainted today.
i was quite chuffed because i like the feeling i get when i faint but my mother didnt share my feelings. if i faint again ill be going to the doctors. :/ not my favourite place in the world to be honest.

ill try and be more discreet if i lose consciousness again.

im totally down i cant believe i got school tomorrow i really dont wanna go. my life is shit nobody loves me an im going to fail my exams an end up workin in mcdonalds.


goin to bed now folks hope you feel better than me


Sunday, 19 April 2009


hi guys sorry i ain been around been a bit preoccupied :/
me and my boyfriend of just over a year finished and im absolutely heartbroken
it couldnt have come at a better time really ive been off school for two weeks and havent done any revision for my exams as ive been too upset to concentrate. ive managed to do a little today and im not going back until tuesday, but thats hardly gonna make much difference.

i hope its a temporary thing because still love eachother. well he said he did. we were having a really silly arguement over some shit an then he said that we needed a break. and that maybe we could get back in a while. i was being a bitch to him to be honest but as soon as he said that, i realised that i was being horrible. i love him so much and i cant put into words how much i regret arguing with him. saying that, it might have happened anyway as he said it wasnt really to do with the arguement.

i saw him the other day too in a party. it was werid it felt like i was still with him but i wasnt talking to him. his friends say that hes been upset all week, which really annoys me as hes the one who wanted to end it.

ive been walking around like a zombie not eating anything and crying. not eating being a good side effect i suppose. if only i could swap all the food around me for him back. why is it im stuck with the thing i dont want?
ive been dreaming about him thats how much i think of him. he means everything to me i hope i can win him back. as he also ended it cuz he wants to concentrate on the exams coming up, ill work my magic when they're over. god i miss him.

anyway...sorry for that i needed to vent haha.

since the 9th i havent really ate a proper meal except for today which i was forced into because my mother is worried about me. she thinks im reacting way over the top, but for fucksake i love the boy and i spent the last year with him. she seriously cant expect me to forget about him in 10 minutes.
so i was given chicken and chips from the local chippy. i looked at my plate and i seriously thought i was gonna throw up. it looked foul. i picked at it and then when my mother and step dad went to watch a film i chucked it. finally food disgusts me again and it feels wonderful. i hope this feeling lasts.

anyway guys i hope your all well.
much love xxx

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Immaa Back

Hellllo anas.

been a while. i apologize once again. my life is really so hectic im finding it hard to find time for anything.
but i am down to 106. i never thought id see the day. i was 109 for so long i thought thats the lowest id ever be. and to make things better im going away canoeing for three days which is bound to drop some more pounds. im leaving tomorrow. (:

i've purposely bought hardly any food to take. i just no one notices. it'll be nice to get away for a while. but im on my period which is really annoying. i wish i could be so light i didnt have one. i no you guys might not feel the same, but i honestly dont want a period. it can fuck off for all i care. who wants to have a week where they're totally unapproachable? grrr i hate them.

i wrote about starting a sort of group diet in my weight blog and im keeping my word. i'll think up all the details when im away and write them on here on Wednesday. lemme no if your in (:

its going to consist of a lot of exercise as im off school for two weeks. which is fucking awesome. i need to do more exercise in my life. im really not as active as i wanna be.
starving on its own is no way enough.

going to be focusing on revising too. i need to if i wanna have good results. which i do (:

hope everyones feeling as optimistic as i am right now!!

love you skinnies