Down

hi guys sorry i ain been around been a bit preoccupied :/
me and my boyfriend of just over a year finished and im absolutely heartbroken
it couldnt have come at a better time really ive been off school for two weeks and havent done any revision for my exams as ive been too upset to concentrate. ive managed to do a little today and im not going back until tuesday, but thats hardly gonna make much difference.

i hope its a temporary thing because still love eachother. well he said he did. we were having a really silly arguement over some shit an then he said that we needed a break. and that maybe we could get back in a while. i was being a bitch to him to be honest but as soon as he said that, i realised that i was being horrible. i love him so much and i cant put into words how much i regret arguing with him. saying that, it might have happened anyway as he said it wasnt really to do with the arguement.

i saw him the other day too in a party. it was werid it felt like i was still with him but i wasnt talking to him. his friends say that hes been upset all week, which really annoys me as hes the one who wanted to end it.

ive been walking around like a zombie not eating anything and crying. not eating being a good side effect i suppose. if only i could swap all the food around me for him back. why is it im stuck with the thing i dont want?
ive been dreaming about him thats how much i think of him. he means everything to me i hope i can win him back. as he also ended it cuz he wants to concentrate on the exams coming up, ill work my magic when they're over. god i miss him.

anyway...sorry for that i needed to vent haha.

since the 9th i havent really ate a proper meal except for today which i was forced into because my mother is worried about me. she thinks im reacting way over the top, but for fucksake i love the boy and i spent the last year with him. she seriously cant expect me to forget about him in 10 minutes.
so i was given chicken and chips from the local chippy. i looked at my plate and i seriously thought i was gonna throw up. it looked foul. i picked at it and then when my mother and step dad went to watch a film i chucked it. finally food disgusts me again and it feels wonderful. i hope this feeling lasts.

anyway guys i hope your all well.
much love xxx