Omg i am so fat.
i juust weighed and i am 110.
i feel so bad i wanna cry.
but i kinda knew this was coming. i havent been eating properly (ive been eating crisps and everything else that is fattening like chocolate) all because i miss my boyfriend. i know i shouldnt blame this thing on him being away but when hes here i seem more motivated. i WANT to go to the gym. i WANT to chuck out every chocolate bar thats in my fridge.
but when hes away my world falls apart an i jus wanna pig out.
so now ive decided. what the fuck. hes going to come home to a big fat whale and dump me. so why bother being upset that hes not here, cuz when he comes back its guna be a 1000 times worse as he'll dump me for being sucha fat bitch.
so im going for a run tomorrow. a serious one. im not gunna stop all day. im gunna do everything i need to do and not laze about being a fat fucker.
cuz honestly, im not worthy to call myself "pro-ana" cuz the way ive been acting lately, i might as well just call myself a "woman who cant say no to cooked dinners"or someone who says " i might not be so much to look at but im a real nice person on the inside." thats the last thing i wanna have to say. i want my pictures to speak for themselves.
i want everyone to think shes lost weight! or omg, shes got a awesome figure.
not god shes not as thin as she used to be...or wow shes been hitting mcdonalds big time.
cuz girls lets face it. no matter what people say FAT IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.
FAT IS DISGUSTING AND SHOULD BE GOTTEN RID OF IMEDIATELY.
i really do wish i could do you girls proud. like actually lose weight. cuz right now no one can possibly find me inspiring. im so fat its hurting me.
i hope the next time i sign on i can say something thats good.
wish me luck. im going to need it to get rid of my fat.