Friday, 20 February 2009

The Pain Is Almost Over

Hi guyss

1st of all i'd like to say a huge thank you to everyone who reads my blog. your sucha huge inspiration to me an i love to death :)

been finding it hard not to binge, as i got nothing to do. and to top that all off, my mother woke me up at 9 in this morning because my uncle was coming to finish off the last bit of my bedroom. so i had to crawl out of bed...literally roll out down the stairs. i think im developing insomia. i cant seem to get to sleep takes hours and hours to drop off.

i asked one of my closest friends who i havent seen since new years eve to come over too. shes been to poland so i feelt very guilty that i havent talked to her in so long or anything.
the 1st thing i noticed was how skinny she was. her chest bones were sticking out loads. she also mentioned that she'd been living off soup in poland because she didnt like the food in the hotel. which probably explains it. i was so jealous of her beautiful bones. i wish my chest stuck out like that.

my boyfriend leaves austria tomorrow. and i couldnt be happier. loss of him caused an extreme loss of motivation also i found without him i had way too much spare time on my hands. which was used to binge. i still cant believe how one person could have sucha huge impact on my life. i still havent heard a peep out of him.

i hope he hasnt realised what a fat horrible cow i am and that he never wants to see me again.

i cant believe im saying this but i cant wait for school to start back. this week has been horrible. i felt like a prisoner in my own bedroom. not wanted by anyone, binging and throwing all my hard work away. this week has probably been the worst half term ever. my friends dont seem to want to know me and would rather do things without me. i dont blame them. im disgusting.

hopee everyones doing well...especially thoses on the spring break challenge :)

love you all


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