Sunday, 4 January 2009

Crying Constantly

Omg ive been so emtional today.
so much that its scary.
as i write this tears are coming down.
i thought it was jus my period abou to start to begin with, but now i ain so sure. i've never been like this before.

it started off me going up my dads. i went into my old room which i hardly ever sleep in anymore, and started crying. i don't know why.

then when i came back to my mothers, my boyfriend came over. we we're watchin, Ps i love you (the wrong choice of film as i hate the thought of my boyfriend dyin, and this reminds me of all the nightmares i have of him dying...but suprisingly hes the one who wanted to watch it lmao) and as you do in a chick flick i was crying at the sad parts. I didnt really think anything of tha, as i would have normally.
But then we stopped it to go out the kichen an i jammed my finger in the cupboard door. i said oww...then found myself in tears. But i wernt crying cuz of tha, but cuz i didnt wan my boyfriend to die :S.

he was understanding an jus hugged me. i really didnt want to watch the rest of the film, but i did.

i dont no wats wrong with me. ive only eaten liquids today, could that have triggered it?

but i do think i have probelms with my dreams. i always dream that people i love die, and recently its always my boyfriend. i hate it. i find myself waking up crying all the time.

i wish it would stop.

well im going to sleep now. hopefully i wont dream of him dying again. god im so pathetic.



  1. no no youre not pathetic. that just means you really love them :) you cant help what you dream, no matter what. just dont think about bad things right before bed and hopefully they wont find their way into your dreams :).

  2. aww, its okay,
    i get like that too sometimes without reason, and when i dont eat a lot, i usually get really touchy and stuff when im fasting so its probably jsut the food.

    and as for the dreams, its okay, dreams are something you cant help. but just remember that hes okay, and for now ehs with you. just enjoy him being there.

    and your not pathetic at all!! everyone is different. just be you.

    good luck!

    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

  3. Aww I'm sorry you're feeling sad hun. Those sorts of dreams are awful, I have them too. I'm following your blog now because it's very thinspiring. :D Thank you! Check my pro ana blog too if you have the chance. xoxo