Saturday, 24 January 2009


Today has been an absolute nightmare.
actually no. worse than that.

it started off ok...i had a nice lie-in and whatever.
my parents were away for the day, so i asked my boyfriend to come down.
we watched american pie and then things heated up.

we did what your thinking, and when i was getting dressed back into my clothes...Aaron*(my bf) said that i was looking a lot more skinner than i used to.
(i am fucking fed up of this...fair enough if i was losing the pounds but i dont seem to be!)
he said that he doesnt like the fact that im geting smaller and says he wants me to put on some weight.
so i told him no. im happy small and i dont wanna change. i also said that he should love me the way i am and not be telling to change.
he started getting a bit angrier saying i looked frail and he could see my bones and it turned him sick.
i really cant believe he said this. i started filling up and told him to fuck off. and if i made him feel sick he should just leave.
so after a bit of more shouting an shit...he left.

im so upset. i cant believe the boy that i love, who ive been going out with for a year told me i turn him sick.

hes tried to ring me quite a few times but i aint picking up.
ive never seriously argued with him before and im scared.
i dont wanna lose him. but im not gaining weight for anyone.

i love him so much.
but if i turn him sick maybe hes not worth my love.

so when he left i binged. then i made myself sick.
something i havent done for a very long time.
im such a wreck.


  1. my boyfriend makes comments like this, although not quite as bad, but he still does.

    i think it's the stupid male way of saying, "i love you, i care about you, please dont starve yourself"

    go easy on him ♥

  2. That is so mean of him to say! Insulting you isn't going to make you want to change. Hope things get better. ***

  3. I think Anna's probably got it right, guys aren't great at phrasing and saying what they mean, but it's probably his way of saying he cares and doesn't want you to hurt yourself. However, from my experience, don't tell him you have a problem. Guys are hardwired to try to fix a problem immediately and will have a hard time letting it go. Just my 2 cents :-P